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You Control Your own Destiny...

Updated: Apr 24, 2018


Sam Flugence
Attorney S.A.M. Flugence

That is if you both try very hard to cooperate and do what is in the "best interest" of the children, which essentially means to "co-parent." The reason family court is always at capacity is because one parent wants more control over the children than the other and vice versa and the cycle continues. Other reasons include bitterness, jealousy, spite, and my pet peeve, financial. Co-parenting is the relationship that exists between parents, concerning their children, who are not in an intact family. A good co-parenting relationship can exist with or without an order of custody. The problems typically arise when there is a disagreement which sometimes turns out to be a power struggle; and so having an order of custody in place can help deter over zealousness by one parent over the other. An order of custody can be established by either a consent agreement or considered decree. A consent agreement is an order of custody wherein both parents agree to the terms of the custodial arrangements and obtains court approval. A considered decree is put in place when evidence and testimony regarding the custody matter is presented to the court and then the judge decides the terms of the custody arrangement. Personally I would much rather make the decisions regarding the welfare of my children then to have a stranger (judge), someone who doesn't know me or my children, to do so. In order to obviate the necessity of protracted litigation, parents must learn to discuss with each other that what makes sense for their children,


Parents should establish the terms; then each parent should contact a family law practitioner and explain that they what to cooperate with the other parent. Provide that attorney with the terms so that she can prepare the consent agreement for presentation to the other side. Once you have received court approval, I recommend putting the agreement away and try co-parenting without ever having to pull it out. it's not a trump card; it is the document that tells parents minimally of what they are entitled with regard

to custodial time and decision making authority regarding their children.


It is of the utmost importance for parents to know that they are not required to follow the order of custody if both parents agree to do something else that works. At the beginning and end of the day, good co-parenting puts the parents in control of their own destiny as it relates to the role in which they will have in the rearing of their children. This is accomplished when parents put all differences aside and make the "best interest" of the children their first priority.

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